I must retract my statements from last night concerning a certain airline company. At least as far as the nice email I received concerning my troubles with my debit card, which apparently has my old address, according to the Visa people that I had to call this morning. As well as calling the bank, and then the airline company.
Disaster averted.
Vacation on!
Now I just need to find some kind soul to take me to the airport and to pick my ass up upon my return.
...
Seriously, I nearly cried last night. At one point, throwing my hands up in the air, yelling at the ceiling... The one thing I desperately need, a break from my job, a break from my day to day routine, a break from the thoughts endlessly rolling round inside my head, these few marbles I got left up there...
On the other hand I thought it was finally time, finally despite all that's happened in the last four months, that finally I could bring myself to tears...
Its been so long since I've had a good cry, or a bad cry, or any at all...
I wanted to release so badly...
And then I made some dinner. Smoked a cigarette and settled down some, and even laughed a little.
Go figure.
...
Its getting easier. Every day, every day to day. Slowly but surely. Though February is the real test, the dark month, when winter is at its bleakest.
It does and doesn't help that its the slow season, when actual work becomes somewhat scarce, the hours I need dry up, and I find myself with too much time to think. Being stuck in a basement trying to come up with clever ways of wasting time, not to mention endlessly mulling over how so much time has passed, and all of the choices I've made in life... well, its a little trying on the soul.
I'm trying to keep my emoting and whining to a minimum here.
Really.
Its getting easier...
...
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