Thursday, October 23, 2008

"Malt-ternative"


Good night sweet prince. I read in the paper the other day they are discontinuing Zima, "Zomething different." "The "Malt-ternative."

When I lived in Chicago, someone (who shall remain nameless) actually brought a six pack of Zima over to my apartment, during a party of some sort. No one touched them. Until about six months later when at the lowest depths of my depression and broke-ness, I drank them.

(I'd like to think that six pack was actually a couple years old, and just got passed from party to party over the course of two years, untouched.)

You will be missed... by high schoolers and underage drinkers everywhere.

...

Oh, this plague was quite a nasty one. I spent three days in utter delirium, hacking my lungs out. Then congested and coughing up goo for another week, and finally its subsiding, though I'm still prone to hacking fits. Really starting to think quitting the smoking is a great idea. But I'm just not ready for that.

Otherwise, its been a long couple of weeks.

I refuse to close the window in my room all the way, despite the recent plummeting temperatures. Just not ready for that either. Not ready to admit the end is near, that soon I shall fall into the depths of winter, and get the sad.
I think I've finally mind-melded with the internet. I have a folder for images of cats. A lot of them.

...

I recently fell into a foul mood, the kind usually produced by run-ins with people I do not want to see around. There's a few about town, and its inevitable, in a town this small. I tend to get down on myself for letting it affect me so, which makes it worse. But what can be done? I think I'm going to hermit myself soon, i.e. not going to the The Bar, or out in general.

But I do have other activities to fill my time. Working for the Burlesque company is the highlight of my week. Things with the band should get rolling again, after our brief homeless hiatus.

Uh. I guess that's about it.
...

Things at work are going pretty typically. I commented to a coworker that I haven't seen the boss around lately, and he responded with, "Didn't she tell you she was taking a two week vacation?" Nope. I just figured, since I see her less and less these days, she was just not working. Heh. But people don't tend to tell me anything, anyway. Communication is not our strong point.

...

I've been having bad dreams as of late. Not nightmares, or terrors, or anything like that, and not very often. Just dreams about past relationships. Not sure which are the worst ones, the ones where we are back together, and things are good again, or the other ones, in which we are back together, and things are horribly wrong. Either way, had one this morning, despite sleeping in and the bed being incredibly roasty and warm.

It is quite difficult to get out bed, these cold, frosty mornings.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Making Pirate Treasure Maps


...

My body is a road map of pain. After working a lovely seven day in a row stretch at work, upon my first day off, I woke up with a horribly scratchy throat, and found myself with terrible hacking fits, coughing up some nasty looking stuff.

The next day brought the chills, plugged up ears, and at night the dreaded night sweats. I went into work for an hour, and called it quits. Luckily it was a slow day.

I spent that day and the next in bed, or on the couch watching the Star Wars Trilogy. Yes, trilogy. (Those prequels still rub me the wrong way.) I drank hot toddies, orange juice, took weird Chinese herbal supplements, and slept. The whiskey didn't exactly work its magic like it used to, as I switched to the real cheap stuff, due to money constraints. Then I opted for the rum, which is actually quite tasty given the right kind of tea.

Hey. I like booze. No, really, its my friend's old man's trick to beating any illness. Then again, he was a total alcoholic. Anyways.

Last night i thought I had licked it, and actually felt great. The coughing stopped, the phlegm dried up, and I drank way too much wine to celebrate the victory.

This morning I coughed up goo for about ten minutes straight. And hacked up something fierce at work. (I was sanitary about it... head mostly in the garbage can)

Then off to burlesque practice, which, I gotta say, is totally sweet. I cut out some cardboard props last Monday, and this week learned to operate the sewing machine. I made a sash. I also burned paper to make it look old. It feels amazingly good to be doing something worthwhile, and creative and really fun. I have something else going on in my life. Plus the ladies are completely gorgeous, and really nice, which, is, pretty, cool.

Next week the band should be getting together again. We took a hiatus due to no practice space, and people being without homes.

...

Otherwise things are kind of quiet around here. I haven't been to the The Bar in over a week. This is a new record for me. Instead I putz around my house, and have been watching a lot of TV shows, mainly Dexter and Weeds, Weeds being my new favorite at the moment.

...

This sick boy needs some sleep.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Grunt Rock


PS. Learned the term "Grunt Rock" today. Its the proper nomenclature for the event of having a massively difficult turd experience, in which one strains and groans for what feels like hours, only to have the teeniest, tiniest, size of a small rock turd pop out. Grunt Rock.

I Think About Girls a Lot

I actually have a similar shirt, of only one At-At. My friend S. made it for me. And its probably my favorite shirt. I always wanted one of those toys when I was a kid, and I never got one. S. birthday was in July, and because of the shirt, someone offered up the fact he had three actual At-At toys. I bought one, and had it for a week before I gave it to S. His face nearly exploded when he saw it at the bar. He never had one either.

...

Wow, I have been negligent. Can't say its for any other real reason other than the fact I'm completely lazy. This last week alone I've had a seven day run of working, which ends tomorrow. I'm a little gibbered up right now. Exhausted. Going a little batty. At least I work at two tomorrow, so more wine, and sleeping in. Getting out of bed has been extremely difficult in the mornings. Not due to sadness or depression. That will hit in a month or so. Winters here are a bitch. A cold, grey, endless dark bitch of a fucking bitch. Please excuse the harsh language. It totally sucks.

But the fall has been pretty sweet. Oh, how I love commenting on the weather. I think I'm practicing for when I become an old man (gods willing), and I just sit on the porch in a rocking chair, swatting at flies and trapping anyone within earshot with the same stories, over and over again, that I will know for sure, have heard a thousand times from me. My revenge against the assault of babble and stories I get from the dish washers at work for four to five hours a day. (They are real people, not the machines, and each one is totally a character in and of themselves, shit I couldn't make up if I tried).

But I digress. October 1st hit, and suddenly mother nature just flipped the fall switch, and now its cold at night. Leaves are slowly withering, and its only getting colder. They say its supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow, and it will probably be the last highest temperature gauge in these parts til April. No, scratch that, til late May. But I do love the seasons. And the bed is so goddamned warm and cozy when I wake up. I've hit the snooze over and over, something I rarely do.

I also found this super, cheap deal and a not-that-terrible wine that comes in the double bottles, almost jugs of wine, 2 bottles for ten bucks. That's four bottles of wine, roughly 2.75 a bottle. Four nights, four bottles, decent buzz and little hangover effects. My new way of getting through the winter. Hell yeah. This deal won't last forever, but I'm thinking right now, I'm the only one buying.

You see, my summer blow out finally took its toll. I seriously drank myself broke. I mean, not technically. I have some savings which are completely on lock down, never to be touched unless in extreme duress. But the checking account, oops, took a spill. For the last week and a half I've been broke, well, on an extreme budget. Payday is Thursday at midnight (my favorite day, Thursday, that is, just something about 'em), and I've got like, 18$ in the billfold. Great success!

Tomorrow is also the seventh day in a row of work. Oh yeah, I already wrote that. I mean, its not all that bad, we've all probably had worse, but damn, I'm tired enough to bitch pointlessly anyway.

...

Girls remain a mystery. I'm staying away from them. Honestly, I'm going to try my best. I'm also going to write a book about this, because each girl I've had any sort of contact with since January, has developed into some sort of weird crazy story that I couldn't have made up if I tried. The newest installment has already dropped like a fresh turd, last night being extremely bizarre.

While I greatly appreciate a girl flirting with me at work and giving me strongly romantic comments from time to time, (does wonders for the self-esteem), It kind of sucks when you have a boyfriend you're having problems with, and greatly like my attention and willingness to listen to said problems.

But really, I don't want to hear it. Nor do I want the text messages, explaining how 'nice and fun' I am. You're setting me up for something, like a fall-back plan, or a bail-out package, and I've already had one of these encounters this year with someone I almost got lost in, (who did it to me twice already, the great mind fuck) and now another? Uh-huh. eh-eh. eh-eh. eh-eh. The dolphin. I've heard the "you're a nice guy speech" way too many times. Not going to do it.

I guess, though maybe I shouldn't have suddenly blasted you with a kind of rude, but necessary text message.

And your several responses only helped build my case.

I usually don't lash out like that. I'm terrible in a debate, or argument. A fight.

But I feel fine about it today.

I'm really trying hard these days not to get involved these days. This one sought me out, and I'm hoping its done.

So I need to give up on this stuff for a while. And focus on other things. Like my new endeavor.

Inspired by the mustache on my face, (its now 8.5 inches, waxed out tip to tip.) I joined my friends burlesque troop that I am so fond of. Though tonight was the first practice, I feel like this is something that I really want to help out on. Not for just the obvious reasons, which will help me like therapy through the winter darkness, (practice is twice a week. *smiles*) but for being creative and actually doing something, putting on something people will see. Building props, taking props off, picking up discarded panties.

Read my myspace blog for more details.

...

Otherwise, who else has an ex-fiance that calls you after she's done working at your work place, again, after the break-up, at 10:30 to see if she can use your bathroom because she really has to pee, after work, your bathroom being less than five minutes away, on the way to her car she parks around the corner? Does urine well up that fast in ladies, after work? Sometimes I gotta take a real big dump after work, but damn, peeing at work is way more acceptable than pooping at work. Though I do like the idea of getting paid to poop. I'd be rich.

Does anyone think this is weird behavior? Since its the second time she's done this.

Anyways. Man, I think about girls a lot.