Five O, on the Scene

Pretty much sums up my existence.

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I woke up extremely hungover. Which is usually par for the course these days, despite my best intentions of not going to the bar for precisely that reason.

I sat on my stoop smoking a cigarette, basking in the golden light of the crisp fall day.

I spied a cop car up the street, pulled about half way onto the road, which is one of the main streets through town. I also noticed an individual that seemed to be talking to the officer in the vehicle. And just as I focused on them, the individual began to run away from the cop, and was tearing off his light jacket and threw his two bags down, and proceeded to book it as fast as he possibly could. The cop jumped out of the car and proceeded to give chase, calling for back-up along the way.

Before I could even realize what was really happening in front of my eyes, the large individual crossed the street and seemed to be heading right in my direction. The cop lagged behind him, not quite able to keep up.

I didn't know what to do, as the man suddenly ran past me down my driveway and into my backyard.

I lurched to my right, away from the action, and before I knew it I was inside my house, frantically trying to lock the door. I kinda understand those scenes in horror movies when people being chased are fumbling with keys just before their pursuer nabs them. Not that it mattered though, the guy was long gone, and really wouldn't found a good escape route in my house.

So I ran to the kitchen to check out the action in the back yard, and saw that the individual had dropped his red hat in my backyard, and the cop was struggling to hop the fence in my backyard. Atta boy! Eventually he made it over, and then I heard sirens of more cop cars pulling around the corner, screeching cars, and in a little while, the sounds of a helicopter.

It was On!

I went outside to smoke a cigarette and see if I could spy any action down the street, but was a little timid fearing gun fire. Not like that kind of thing happens in this town hardly ever, but hey, I just a police chase in my own backyard... not taking any chances. I also contemplated going into my back yard to retrieve the hat as a keep sake, but decided against it, fearing the individual's return. (this guy was huge by the way.)

A little while later the officer of the law returned, looking around my backyard, and eventually came up front, so I chatted him up.

They nabbed him, and it was the same cop I had seen running behind the guy. We laughed about it, me sitting on the porch, and he joked I should have stuck my foot out or something (yeah right, that guy was huge. really)... but then said I did the right thing, running inside. I almost asked him if I could have the hat, but I decided against it. I'm not one to really talk to the police. Just kind of freaks me out.

But damn, the hell of a way to start a day.

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I spent a few days wallowing in self-pity, as I'm prone to do. Its still all rumors, and speculation, but I'm kinda certain the object of my affections is hanging out with the other guy. (Who lives two doors down from me... and I work with her, and he works at the The Bar, which we all frequent...) But I'm feeling much better, shrugging my shoulders, and saying, "whatever." Let it go. Not worth dwelling on.

Plus the events of last night kind of helped turn things around. I got lucky. A strange girl, kind of bubbly, and actually kind of fun. Though I'm not sure if, or where I want it to go. It was a fun night, and though I'm not prone to having sex with total strangers, well, eh, I needed a win.

I'm really trying to stave off sexual desire. I feel like if I could channel that energy into something else, I'd be much better off.

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Today I got some stuff done. Cleaned up a little, made my September Mix cd, and wrote some emails. Hooray! Tomorrow, going to a yard sale, and then the library, and then work...

Tonight I shall go out and see my friend's band play, and probably drink a bit too much. And hopefully not run into any girls I know, or just met.

You've Switched Off Your Targeting Computer

Uh. Just for the Lass. I know you love these two.

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Its peeling. Completely shredding off in giant flakes. Wearing a hoodie is quite painful, especially the disrobe. Even my sweaty work t-shirts, quite painful. Under the bicep is not a recommended place for a tattoo. Very sensitive. Very.

But its still totally f-ing sweet. A tiger head, mouth open, mid growl, on my bicep. Awesome.

And was chosen personally by the groom, as he gave the three of us our tattoos. Drawn out of a cigar box, in the form of crumpled up pieces of paper, adorned with the pattern of our fated tattoos.

It turned out better than I thought, the Tiger tattoo.

I kinda love it.

I love this new tradition among this circle of friends. Getting random tattoos, in honor of, just us dudes.

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My love life is flaking, really hard tonight.

A scenario I've thought about a lot lately, actually happened. At least, it appeared that way. And I feel it in my bones. Not just the usual, expect the worse scenario... It just seemed that way.

I'm disappointed bout it right now. Maybe I'm over reacting. I'm just pissed. Eh. I'll get over it by tomorrow morning, when I wake up hungover, and confused. And then realize I have another agonizing workload this fine day, and will have another the next, and then sweet release, two days off in a row.

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Guess my promise of updating more often fell through... Sorry. All two of you will have to wait. I'm trying my best these days.

Fall is here. Officially. Its messing me up. I'm kinda messed up. These days...

Torential Torture

Disgruntled cookie is disgruntled.

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According to a work email that someone sent out to most of my coworkers, I was voted the mvp for Tight Shirt Tuesday. A nice little boost for the self-esteem, always welcome.

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I've been fuming for a day or two about the boss' decision to dump a shit ton of her work on me, work she was supposed to do for the weekend. Although just when I'm fuming the most, she has a way of, just at the right second, defusing the situation with a well timed "thank you," I wasn't expecting to get.

So I got exceedingly drunk about it a couple nights ago. Still kind of feeling the affects.

Its also damp and humid out. I just kind of feel gross all around.

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I also found out the current object of my desires has gotten a job at our restaurant. And will be working a short stone throw away from me in the basement hole I work in, though in a different area.

This could either be the coolest, sweetest thing to happen to me, or probably the worst, most tortuous thing ever.

She broke up with her boyfriend again. Perhaps a ray of hope shining in. Then again, she sent me some cryptic text messages about "weird few days..." and I'm not sure what she means.

Then I think I spied her out last night, riding bikes around with a dude.

Now, this could all be my typical "expect the worst" philosophy, and my minor paranoia about the situation. Who knows. I'm kinda clueless about this stuff.

I'm not very good at interpreting girl signals. They are confusing at best.

Much like the x's insistence on going out of her way, i.e. coming down to the basement specifically to say good bye to me, even though she works elsewhere in the compound. Especially since she said she wouldn't do that stuff, upon returning to work at the restaurant.

Thanks. Have a good day.

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Um, hey Texas. Good luck! Don't hurt my friends down there, Ike. They're good people. That is all.

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Tight Shirt Tuesdays

No comment.

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One of my coworkers introduced the concept of "Tight Shirt Tuesdays," in which participants, mostly male thus far, are encouraged to wear the tightest work t-shirt possible, just for the sake of it being Tuesday. (And I suppose, for the ladies. Anything for the ladies.)

I'm typically not prone to wearing tight fitting clothes, although I do possess a few very tight t-shirts in which I'm sort of self conscious. Not entirely sure why, I figure I look all right, perhaps a tad on the skinny side of the spectrum. Although I'm certain that I'm in the pre-stages of growing a beer gut. No really, I weighed myself on the industrial scale we have out back at the restaurant, and found I'm about ten pounds heavier than normal. I'm certain its all concentrated in my gut right now.

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Still, Tight Shirt Tuesday went off without a hitch. The one coworker who created the idea, he's a funny one, and I exchanged comments all day long about our tight shirts, and complimented each other on how good we look. As always in our psuedo-friendly banter, the tone of which is overly ass kissing, over the top friendly.

At the end of the day I smoked a cigarette with him, and I divulged that Tight Shirt Tuesday really worked out, considering two girls overtly flirted with me.

Now, I'm usually the dumb guy, the guy who has no idea when a girl is flirting with him, expressing interest, etc. A girl usually needs to bash me over the head with a giant log in order to get me to realize what's going on.

Not to mention I'm a terrible flirt. Although today, after realizing what was going on, I felt comfortable with actually trying to flirt, just for the sake of flirting. It was fun.

Although both ladies do have boyfriends, which is something I tend to stay away from. Bad ju-ju. I suppose it was all in good fun. My fun. And that's what matters to me at this moment.

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The fall is starting somewhat early this year. Two chilly evenings, and last night, a cold rain fell all night, which was amazing pleasant. I'm excited for the change of season, even though I'll eat and regret these words in the dead of winter, when I'm gouging out my eyes with my seasonal depression, but there are things to look forward to. I'm already trying to schedule some Texas time for mid January, or February, when things are at its bleakest.

I'm trying my damndest to stay away from the The Bar these days, or going out in general. I may have had to dip back into the video games for a spell. I'll admit, they're boring, but just enough to get me from leaving the house. I kind of drank a huge hole in my bank account this summer. Oops.

But I do love these colder nights. And the smells, and the fact I can wear a sweater again. Ladies will be decked out in their sweaters and hats, and hanging up the tank tops (sadly), but ah, I do love the fall.

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Next week is going to be crazy, I already know it. Another one of my friends is getting married, and we're going to be doing the "Get what you get," grab bag tattoos in honor of his wedding, a very amazingly awesome tradition among us here, and some old friends will be in town for partying.

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Enough for now. I might take a post work nap.

Designated Area for Designating Areas.

What an oddly pleasant day. I feel like it has not rained in quite some time, and the light showers today were just so right.

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At the restaurant, there's this constant, ongoing battle for a defined smoking area for the employees. In my (gasp) almost five years of employment, the smoking area has shifted location more times than I can remember, though generally its always been within a twenty foot radius of the back area of the place, where the graffiti is and the stock gets unloaded.

A few years ago, the house next to our building went up in flames, though not enough to seriously destroy the house, just enough to make it unlivable. Eying it for years, the restaurant sort of annexed the property finally, which some people claimed we were responsible for it, even though we weren't. Ironic, now, that the smoking area has now been relocated to the backyard of the house, and the fire that destroyed the house was actually started by a cigarette.

Its a nice area actually. A failed attempt at a garden, now overgrown, lots of trees blocking the next neighbors house, and some fences make it quite an ideal place to hide out for twenty minutes at a time, because few managers actually make it back there. It sort of feels like being at summer camp back there. I can't put my finger on why.

But it was fun watching the two makeshift tent structures they put up, almost blow away in the sudden gust of wind from the approaching storm. That and they're lousy for blocking the rain anyway.

I suppose either way you look at it, smokers are more and more being condemned to smoke in the oddest of places. A younger me would have been really pissed about this, but frankly, I'm looking forward to quitting this habit.

I told myself, Thirty is it. That's when smoking is no longer "cool."

My thirtieth birthday is almost three months away.

I think I can do it.

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Other good things about today: The girl I've been pining for for a while texted me out of the blue. I was sitting on my stoop, smoking, wondering to myself if I should give her a call, when blam, there it was, her text.

She texted me to ask where she could pick up an application for my restaurant.

Despite my warnings of "its a cult, and it can be really crazy at times..." she's still going for it.

I mean, it is a good job, for what it is, and a cool company, for the most part.

Anyways, I told her to put me as a reference of sorts. I think I'm somewhat respected there... sort of.

What came more as a shock, was later, she texted me wondering if I knew of anyone looking for a roommate. Which could only mean one thing, that her and her boyfriend are splitting up again. Which happened the first time around, when suddenly she started showing me some interest, and then got back together with the dude, oh, back towards the end of July.

The opening and closing of doors. Timing.

I don't know.

I'm trying hard not to end up dating yet another coworker. Not that I'm saying this girl and I are going to get together. But I have known her for a long time. And she's pretty rad.

Here we go again.

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Work was slow and pleasant today. Lots of witty banter. Standing around, smoke breaks far too often. Chill day, after the blurry, blitzkrieg of last week, all last week, that utterly exhausted me.

Oh, and then a different coworker of mine, a lady, ran up to me as I was working, and just gave me a hug from behind... I think she has a boyfriend, and its kind of weird. But I see her around the bars a lot, and we always end up talking at some point.

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Oh, girls.

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Girls, girls, girls, girls, girls.

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I need a new hobby.

Locusts, My Favorite Plague

I'm thinking about saving up some monies for a new bed. Will I give in to my childish urges and purchase the above? Despite always wanting a race car bed, I think I'll settle for something a bit more adult. I don't exactly see this as winning over any possible ladies I may bring home. Then again, my ten year old twin mattress I bought for college oh so long ago, is seriously on its last few springs, and not exactly measuring up to anyone's standards.

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What is it about my current apartment that seems to attract plagues. We've had water spilling in through the roof, ants invading the bathroom, moths invading every room, and even a bat now and again that somehow manages to find its way inside, and now we're gearing up to do battle with the gutter punks.

A month ago I came home to discover two "gentlemen" engaged in sex acts on the roof of the building next door, which is clearly visible from every window alongside one side of my house, not to mention somewhat visible from one of the busiest streets in town, that I happen to live on.
I won't go into the gritty details, but damn, that was one long blowjob session. Two and a half hours, damn dude, you must have lips of steels. Note - I did not actually watch them for that long, I just happened to come home when they began their escapades, and luckily got to be sitting on my stoop when they climbed (actually one guy fell off) the roof, and stumbled back to some party down the street.

Now we have a certain gutter punk kid in town that has decided that my secluded back yard is a most suitable place to consume forties with his high school girlfriends. Not to mention leaving said bottles, broken, all over the patio, with a giant candle that has spilled wax all over the broken glass, to make one monstrous mess of things. Thanks dude! Say hi to the cops the next time I catch you back there.

Oh, and did I mention the two sets of homeless people that have lived in the broken down car that has sat immobile in the driveway for, say, oh, the last four tenants of this residence?

Then there's our couch friend, who is in between apartments at this time, and is very vague about the move out date.

I mean, its ok, I've been there, I understand, and I actually have no problem with it. Except for the time he was sick for five days with what possibly was Mono, but luckily wasn't. I thought I was going to have to boil the couch somehow.

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Otherwise, life is fairly ok at the moment. Any traces of well-being and rest I had from my Chicago adventure have been thoroughly erased by working a very busy weekend, six days in a row, and getting drunk all night again. Oh, and welcome back students!!! So glad to have you back in town. Thanks for helping me pay my bills, but really, I can't stand a single one of you! For real! This summer was just splendid without you here.

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I won't go into things with girls at the moment. In fact, I'm kind of sick of it all. Girls are weird creatures, and I don't get it. That's all.

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I'll try to update more, I promise. I'm at odds with this all, this blog, it just feels uncomfortable to me. Sometimes I miss my old one. Sometimes I just want to start afresh. And not all that much has been going on, and I'm tired and lazy all the time, so yeah. Not exactly on top of my shit right now.

But I'm actually looking forward to fall this year, and even slightly, the winter. I feel this winter won't be quite as bad as the last one, for some very obvious reasons. Its odd, I'm nostalgic for winter, and it hasn't even arrived yet.