Musings on the Afterlife, or perhaps Do Prep Cooks Dream of Electronic Onions

After my death, assuming there is an benevolent afterlife waiting for me, i hope there is a room in which i can go to see all of the work i have accomplished during my lifetime. i was contemplating today exactly how many onions have i chopped, diced and minced in my six year career as a food service drone. How many stalks of celery, how many carrots, potatoes, chickens have i hacked up? How many pounds of meat have i cooked, braised, baked, broiled. i hope i can walk around the room and see the mounds of food, cartons of eggs, piles and piles of mash potatoes, all there before me. Behold, Gaius, this was your life.

i'd also like to see all of the food i've eaten, too. Gallons upon gallons of ketchup. Pot after pot of coffee. Vats of beer, box after box of Fudge pops (no sugar added! only 40 calories!), sandwich upon sandwich upon sandwich. Pizza after pizza. And perhaps a dead bug or to.

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i've noticed a direct correlation between the level of my mood and the presence of my boss.
When one goes up, the other inexplicably seems to go down. Hmmm. Strange, i know. We call it 'friends and family day,' when she's not there.

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Tomorrow shall prove to be a very interesting day. I'm not exactly looking forward to it, but actually i kind of am. Awkwardness shall abound, as someone mayhaps be getting the proverbial axe.

Stirring up the pot.

Let the party begin.

Bs. G!

So disheartened. After being introduced to Battlestar Galactica after the first two seasons, i come to find out that the Sci-Fi channel is replaying the third season at 2 AM in the morning on Friday nights, and that its already playing the season finale tonight, right now, as i write this. Not that i am going to watch it anyhow, out of order, nor take sneak peaks... really, i am not.

(why is Col. Tigh wearing an eye patch? Dammit!)

Not to mention there is no mention of replaying season three on the Sci-Fi website, nor any release date for season three on DVD.

Plus i was just going to write a comprehensive, compelling rant about how Battlestar trumps Star Trek TNG, but lo and behold someone already has... and done a great job doing it, though its late and i'm not ready to provide the link for it. Not to mention thats kinda like blasphemy. But dammit, if loving BSG is wrong, i don't wanna be right.

Just took a peak, luckily it was a commercial.

Lords of Kobol be praised.

Sometimes you gotta roll a hard six.

So say we all.

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ok, here it is: http://shasplim.livejournal.com/8825.html

Some days...

some days i cannot believe the amount of absurd things that happen at work, things i couldn't even begin to make up if i really tried. Like today, when one of the wait staff called into work due to recently discovering that he had worms. i've heard many an excuse; the dishonest, the absurd (i myself called in late after the Lady and i discovered her car was stolen one morning, though actually it was towed due to unpaid parking tickets from her driveway), calling in drunk to work, you name it. But worms?

or like the other day when a line cook tried to kill a dishwasher with a sandwich. Xerxes (the disher) happens to be a tad overweight, and has a penchant for protein. I guess technically its not attempted murder as he wasn't force feeding him, but trying to induce a heart attack is another thing. That sandwich was beyond loaded with all the worst heart-clogging ingredients, and he ate it all... in about five minutes. and then proceeded to eat two hard-boiled eggs and a chicken liver later that day.

they say skinny cooks can't be trusted. neither can overweight dishers. watch your walk-ins people.

some days... its days like these that keep me coming back for more.

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New blog test run

let us see what this baby can do.