Sunday, November 16, 2008

Some One Great


This describes my mental state right now... figure it out. I can't.

...

The snow is here. Already, and accumulating. Sigh.

Every year I really look forward to bringing out the winter coat. Actually, I don't like bringing out the winter coat, because it only means one thing - that the snow is here, and its cold and winter.

I look forward to digging through the pockets of my winter coat, to find what treasures I left in there on the day that I hung up the coat for the Spring.

I held out as long as I could. In the mean time I've been wearing my old blue coat that I refer to as my "smoking jacket," which now resides on an old nail stuck in the wall of our living room. Its a coat I've deeply loved for a long time, despite the broken zipper and slightly dirty sleeves, since I've never once took it to the cleaners. I almost got rid of it once, at the request of someone once dear to me, and after that person left my life, I dug out the coat from the basement where it sat in a bag of clothes ready for donation. It was some sort of personal victory, a piece of me I didn't want to let go.

...

Contents of winter coat pockets:

1 pair of glasses, plastic, with yellow plastic lenses and dollar signs.
1 (empty) pack of rolling papers
2 bank account slips, showing more money than I've had in quite some time
1 receipt from wine store
1 movie ticket stub
1 packet of Emergen C, orange flavor
1 tube chap stick, medicated
1 1" pin, from the burlesque show, of which I am now a part of.

...

Squid came and went. We did the usual visitor ritual, long drunken nights at the The Bar, darts, greasy diner food, and the mandatory shopping trip in which she tries to get me to buy clothes and stuff I don't need. So strange, the female urge to shop and buy new things... File that under "things girls do that confuse me."

Though it wasn't an official offer, she tempted me with a possible future employment option, down south of course, which seriously got me thinking about movement again. Though the money sounds very tempting, especially now as I dance around my broken bank account, there are, of course, drawbacks.

I love my friends dearly, but when they cross over into the realm of employment, especially as my boss, things get a little rough. Our friendship was greatly strained the last time she was my boss. I once vowed never to do it again.

The weather also sounds very tempting, as I'm sure its probably 75 degrees down there as I write this.

...

Speaking of bosses, I asked for my yearly review yesterday. She responded with, "oh, who told you you were up for review?" I replied with, "You did... a month ago..."

"Oh. Right."

This coming from the person who once told me, "People only ask for reviews when they want a raise... that's mainly why I despise giving reviews..."

Well, you're right about part of it. I think more money has been deservedly earned. I also want a review because some iota of feedback is nice to get sometimes, positive or negative. Considering I get pretty much nothing, unless I really mess something up.

...


Oh hangovers. I think I'll go fix up that packet of Emergen C. Shit works wonders

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Yes, We Did!


There's a phrase that I've been hearing over and over again, uttered by more than a few people, in all sorts of different places.

"I feel like my faith in humanity has been restored..."

I've been saying it myself, and I actually do feel it... And there's other feelings, ones I haven't felt in so long, that they feel alien to me, awkward and young. I feel hope again. And usually I'm prone to distrust the government and politics in general, yet its there, this hope, that things are going to be ok. That the new president will actually do good for this country, that things will and can change, for the better.

...

I was smoking a cigarette on a porch, someone's house, an election party. We had been following the news nervously, all of us drinking heavily, in anticipation for the returns. It was probably around 11:30, or 11:45 when the call was made, that Obama would be the next president. And though there were others on the porch, small talking, and cheering, suddenly someone told us to be quiet. And in that moment of silence between us all, we could hear it, across town, the roars of celebration, chanting and cheering. We were probably about three miles from the center of town where a large group of people had gathered on the campus, and we could hear their cheers.

How many presidential elections can you recall there being mass cheering, people taking to the streets in celebration?

The air was electrified, and we were all electrocuted with a sense of hope, and goodwill. Hugs and hugs, and tears, and then we gathered around the TV for the speeches to come.

...

The concession speech was done rather well, I must admit. Though the booing of the crowd pissed me off, I think Mccain gave an impressive speech. But, man, when Obama appeared, our eyes glued to the screen, everything was magical. Fifteen of us compacted on the living room floor, in various states of intoxication, intoxicated more by the words coming out of his mouth.

I had to look away at one point, because suddenly I was struck with fear, the fear of gun shots, of watching a man fall...

Its a small fear that I will be living with for the next four years, that someone out there will attempt it.

...

A few of us escaped the party and headed to the The Bar, which I gotta admit was one of the sweetest nights I've had there in a long time, all of us regulars hooting and hollering, hugging, shocked and amazed, and hugging again and again.

And later we drove around town yelling out of the car windows, "Yes We DID!" and every passerby hooted back something similar.

Its so odd to feel hope again. And as strange as it is, its a feeling I don't want to go away any time soon.

...

And mad props to the voters (everywhere!) and especially Michigan ones. Props one and two passed, which means medical marijuana and stem cell research are a go. Thanks to you, good people.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Coins, Stars, Flowers, Luigi!



Yes, this is me, and my Halloween costume. I happen to be missing the white gloves, but this was taken a week ago at a Halloween dance party. I must say of all the last minute costume ideas that I usually end up throwing together at the last moment, this one by far turned out the best. Of course, I do have the mustache to back this one up, though Luigi has quite a thick stash, the likes of which I may never see.

Though it has grown quite long. That's about ten inches, tip to tip folks. I had to shave the support beard I had under my mustache for the costume. I'll admit it was a sort of crutch. Going full mustache, and full mustache is a scary and dangerous, bold step for some men. At least if you're not a pedophile or just creepy, and/or a race car driver (of which I am not). Or an Italian plumber, for that matter.

But enough about Leonard...

...

I think my favorite Halloween costume this year, by far was not the multitude of Sarah P@lin's, and Jokers, but hands down the award goes to girls who think wearing as little clothes as possible is a great costume idea. It truly is. The award goes to you, dear ladies.

Speaking of ladies in minimal clothing, I had my first performance with the Burlesque troop. As props man, stage setter-upper, and panty-picker-upper, and even a bit part in the show as the Reverend Luigi, I gotta say it was an amazing experience. Part of me felt all of my high school musical theater experience came rushing back in waves. I felt all fifteen again. And even feeling awkward around the girls, as if I had crushes again, on girls in the show, and not being able to talk to them again, not that I've ever been comfortable approaching girls I like, yet don't know.

There's a lady in the belly dancing troop that performed with us. She's was quite gorgeous, and I totally didn't approach her at all. No attempts at small talk. But that's ok. I just felt funny feeling this way again. And the nervous jitter of performing on stage in front of 300 and more drunk people. And the tension of getting things on stage and off in time. I found myself double and triple checking all of the props, while trying to maintain a gentle buzz of boozes, despite wanting to get plastered and join in the fun.

We plan to perform with the bd troop again. They were/are quite talented and very professional dancers. Not to say we aren't, but there's a certain Jene se qua about us... whatever that means in French.

I'm still quite weirded out by girl's and their intentions these days. Trying so hard to steer clear.

...

Otherwise, not much else is up. Trying to stay home more. Only brief excursions to the The Bar, but of course, people keep coming to town for visits. Squid comes up this weekend, so some banner drinking is in order.

I gotta work six days in a row, though things are strangely slow right now. I can't quite seem to save any money these days.

Luckily it reached almost 60 degrees today. Oh, the last dying gasps of the fall. I swear its gonna snow soon. I can feel it in my bones. The cold grip of icy, wintery, death.

...

Oh, and I'm thinking of forming a Council of Mustaches. A group of mustachioed men that meet up regularly, once a week, and go to the bar wearing bad suits and simply talking nonsense the entire time, like cartoonish voices. I think about these things at work. I suppose ladies could take part, if they were willing to wear fake mustaches. Or, hell, even if they actually can grow one.

...

And I'm really thinking about voting this year. Um... don't ask when the last time I voted in an election was. I've kinda learned my lesson from the whole Bush stealing election back in 2000. And that P@lin, whoa, christ... uh huh.

I mean, in some harsh reality, we're almost facing an election of picking which vice president we want, considering the possibility of death for either presidential candidate, whether it be through natural causes, or rediculous man-made efforts. Its scary that's a possibility in this day and age. It is fucking 2008, and we've come a long way, but not so much, to even consider assassination based on racism as a possible predicament. Then again, MLK was not very long ago.

We are a sad race, us humans.

...

And on a brighter note, I don't know why, but watching the new Narnia movie is totally making me weepy. I'll cry at the most dumbest points, the oddest parts... Example: Me, " Oh shit, there's the centaurs... baaawwwww." "and... Reepicheep!!! Fuck Yes!!!! Baaawwwww." I'm going to finish watching it tonight.

(and yes I know its Christian propaganda, but as a kid who grew up on these books, and totally didn't see it that way, still just loves the story. You can't ruin that part of my childhood, Jesus people. I simply can't wait for Dawn Treader, because that book was toally my fucking favorite.)