This made me laugh.
...
It is currently thee worst week of the winter. The most dreaded of all times of the winter. The last week of March, by which all accounts is technically Spring, but you wouldn't know it around these parts. The sky has been a solid sheet of gray for a week. Cold, but not too cold, just enough to make you wear a jacket, and to make you think twice about wearing that scarf you hoped you wouldn't have to wear again this season.
I've also had a cold for about two months now, which is like a somewhat annoying noise in the background, always there, but you just can't tune it out enough. Constant ebbs and flows of phlegm. Coughs abound, and sneezes and then the sore throats... Lately my lungs feel horribly broken, and I keep thinking about how I'm long overdue to attempt the quitting of the smoking of which I am so fond.
It also snowed today, for the first time in a month, and it is just not what I need right now. I long to sleep with the window open again. To spend actual time outdoors. To see and feel the sunshine.
This week has been insane. Starting off on this entirely crazy emotional dive, like, everyone around me had it, and we all felt insane. Bizarre antics at work. A new B-show in the works, with plans for the future looming overhead. Over-abundance of booze.
I also "broke-up" with someone tonight. I had mentioned briefly hanging out with a lady. Well, it became clear to me that things we're not apparently on the same level. I had made my intentions clear from the start, with honesty, that I wasn't looking for something huge and intense, i.e. a girlfriend, and things were agreed upon - keep it cool and casual. Slowly that changed bit by bit, though not so much on my part, sadly, and I called it off, not wanting to make things worse down the road.
Even at thirty the whole break-up process is totally still stressful and awkward. Even if I consider myself a seasoned veteran of the dating world, the world of relationships, man, shit still sucks. I'm still thinking of sticking to my guns on rather getting dumped than being the dumpee.
...
I suppose its in the way the language changes. Despite claims of not wanting a boyfriend/girlfriend at all, on either part, and then upping the vocabulary. In some parts, yes, for lack of a better word, or explaining it to friends. Ah, the rough and tumble world of semantics.
...
Roommate had commented on certain conversations overheard. Warned me of girlspeak. Girlspeak I may have misconstrued. Or inadvertantly agreed upon things I would not have.
...
Anyway, I'm all weird right now and waxing all emotional, and feel somewhat sappy, but relieved. Also totally exhausted from my day at work of taking out old shelves and installing new ones in the walk-in, which meant standing in cold refrigerator for a couple hours, and then outside for an hour building new shelving units. At least I scored some awesome cardboard that I need in order to build my robot suit for my next routine.
Realizing I really need that vacation I promised to myself, though I keep putting it off.
I gots a new lifeform to check in on, godsdammit.
Also missing old friends suddenly, that I haven't spoken to in a while.
Goddamn this winter must end.
