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I'm sitting on a pillow, on the hardwood floor, having just eaten some Indian food out of the to-go container it came in, simply because at the moment I do not possess a plate nor a dish to eat off of. They did not include any plastic ware, nor napkins for that matter, but you left a box of plastic forks in the drawer, which I am using.

The apartment echoes now. Sound bounces off the bare, empty walls. The thumping of my married, upstairs neighbors is louder than usual. I can almost make out their words. I'm waiting for the nightly furniture rearranging, at least that's what it sounds like, to begin. What do they do up there? Carmen, their little dog, scampers up and down the stairs, which are directly above the bedroom.

I'm half expecting one of the kittens to jump on me at any moment, as I sit here typing, but then I remember that that will not be the case anymore. I will not be awakened at 7:15 in the morning to the cries of the kittens. I will not have to clean their litter box. You toted them away this evening, along with the rest of your belongings, except for a few miscellaneous knick-knacks which I am preparing to put in a box.

This moment is so surreal.

The first major snowstorm of the season is currently, yet gently, falling outside. The snow has partially turned to sleet, or freezing rain, (what is the difference?) and is tinkling against the windows.

The heat kicks in, seemingly so much louder, fuller, and it comforts me. For some reason the sound of the heat always lulls me into a sense of calm.

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I'm not sorry if you are reading this. I'm not saying you shouldn't, I cannot stop you, but know I'm going to write what I wish, it is my blog. And that I'm not trying to pump this up emotionally, make you feel bad, or to make anyone else reading this feel sympathy about this situation. I'm simply trying to record it, the way it is, the way it feels right now.

Its a mixed bag, my emotional state. Part relief, part sorrow, partly unknown, parlty something entirely new... I'm not sure how to process it all. I've never been engaged, and then not engaged, nor living with someone in a relationship, and then not living together.

Tonight, I will lay down to sleep entirely alone for the first time in a long time.

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We have decided to part ways, that marriage would not be in both of our best interests, and today, you have moved out.

This decision was mutual, and I must applaud us both for being civil and respectful of each other over the last few weeks.

It was the right decision, though hard to make, and harder to go through, but this night is here.

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All is not lost.

I've had so much anxiety over the past month, the likes of which I've never felt. But man, what a trip. Do not want to go through that again.

Things will progress. And to quote Spock in Star Trek VI, "The universe will unfold, as it should."

Tomorrow, a new roommate will move in.

Matters of the ring are being taken care of, by the grace of god.

And I'm looking forward to figuring some stuff out, like what my next step in life is going to be.

Not to mention my birthday falls on this Wednesday.

Things are falling into place. Slowly, but surely. Things are going to be ok.

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