I Think About Girls a Lot

I actually have a similar shirt, of only one At-At. My friend S. made it for me. And its probably my favorite shirt. I always wanted one of those toys when I was a kid, and I never got one. S. birthday was in July, and because of the shirt, someone offered up the fact he had three actual At-At toys. I bought one, and had it for a week before I gave it to S. His face nearly exploded when he saw it at the bar. He never had one either.

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Wow, I have been negligent. Can't say its for any other real reason other than the fact I'm completely lazy. This last week alone I've had a seven day run of working, which ends tomorrow. I'm a little gibbered up right now. Exhausted. Going a little batty. At least I work at two tomorrow, so more wine, and sleeping in. Getting out of bed has been extremely difficult in the mornings. Not due to sadness or depression. That will hit in a month or so. Winters here are a bitch. A cold, grey, endless dark bitch of a fucking bitch. Please excuse the harsh language. It totally sucks.

But the fall has been pretty sweet. Oh, how I love commenting on the weather. I think I'm practicing for when I become an old man (gods willing), and I just sit on the porch in a rocking chair, swatting at flies and trapping anyone within earshot with the same stories, over and over again, that I will know for sure, have heard a thousand times from me. My revenge against the assault of babble and stories I get from the dish washers at work for four to five hours a day. (They are real people, not the machines, and each one is totally a character in and of themselves, shit I couldn't make up if I tried).

But I digress. October 1st hit, and suddenly mother nature just flipped the fall switch, and now its cold at night. Leaves are slowly withering, and its only getting colder. They say its supposed to be 70 degrees tomorrow, and it will probably be the last highest temperature gauge in these parts til April. No, scratch that, til late May. But I do love the seasons. And the bed is so goddamned warm and cozy when I wake up. I've hit the snooze over and over, something I rarely do.

I also found this super, cheap deal and a not-that-terrible wine that comes in the double bottles, almost jugs of wine, 2 bottles for ten bucks. That's four bottles of wine, roughly 2.75 a bottle. Four nights, four bottles, decent buzz and little hangover effects. My new way of getting through the winter. Hell yeah. This deal won't last forever, but I'm thinking right now, I'm the only one buying.

You see, my summer blow out finally took its toll. I seriously drank myself broke. I mean, not technically. I have some savings which are completely on lock down, never to be touched unless in extreme duress. But the checking account, oops, took a spill. For the last week and a half I've been broke, well, on an extreme budget. Payday is Thursday at midnight (my favorite day, Thursday, that is, just something about 'em), and I've got like, 18$ in the billfold. Great success!

Tomorrow is also the seventh day in a row of work. Oh yeah, I already wrote that. I mean, its not all that bad, we've all probably had worse, but damn, I'm tired enough to bitch pointlessly anyway.

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Girls remain a mystery. I'm staying away from them. Honestly, I'm going to try my best. I'm also going to write a book about this, because each girl I've had any sort of contact with since January, has developed into some sort of weird crazy story that I couldn't have made up if I tried. The newest installment has already dropped like a fresh turd, last night being extremely bizarre.

While I greatly appreciate a girl flirting with me at work and giving me strongly romantic comments from time to time, (does wonders for the self-esteem), It kind of sucks when you have a boyfriend you're having problems with, and greatly like my attention and willingness to listen to said problems.

But really, I don't want to hear it. Nor do I want the text messages, explaining how 'nice and fun' I am. You're setting me up for something, like a fall-back plan, or a bail-out package, and I've already had one of these encounters this year with someone I almost got lost in, (who did it to me twice already, the great mind fuck) and now another? Uh-huh. eh-eh. eh-eh. eh-eh. The dolphin. I've heard the "you're a nice guy speech" way too many times. Not going to do it.

I guess, though maybe I shouldn't have suddenly blasted you with a kind of rude, but necessary text message.

And your several responses only helped build my case.

I usually don't lash out like that. I'm terrible in a debate, or argument. A fight.

But I feel fine about it today.

I'm really trying hard these days not to get involved these days. This one sought me out, and I'm hoping its done.

So I need to give up on this stuff for a while. And focus on other things. Like my new endeavor.

Inspired by the mustache on my face, (its now 8.5 inches, waxed out tip to tip.) I joined my friends burlesque troop that I am so fond of. Though tonight was the first practice, I feel like this is something that I really want to help out on. Not for just the obvious reasons, which will help me like therapy through the winter darkness, (practice is twice a week. *smiles*) but for being creative and actually doing something, putting on something people will see. Building props, taking props off, picking up discarded panties.

Read my myspace blog for more details.

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Otherwise, who else has an ex-fiance that calls you after she's done working at your work place, again, after the break-up, at 10:30 to see if she can use your bathroom because she really has to pee, after work, your bathroom being less than five minutes away, on the way to her car she parks around the corner? Does urine well up that fast in ladies, after work? Sometimes I gotta take a real big dump after work, but damn, peeing at work is way more acceptable than pooping at work. Though I do like the idea of getting paid to poop. I'd be rich.

Does anyone think this is weird behavior? Since its the second time she's done this.

Anyways. Man, I think about girls a lot.