I Balled Like a Baby

I cried. I cried and I cried. I balled like a baby. This coming from someone who hasn't shed more than two tears in a very, very long time. In fact, everyone did. The sound of sniffels throughout the restaurant, hankies dabbing at eyeballs, even S. and B. stuttering through tears as they said their vows. I lost it completely.

S. and B.'s wedding was perhaps the most beautiful wedding I've ever been to. The ceremony was short, and sweet, and completely heartfelt on every level. The presider of the ceremony did and amazing, philosophical job, (and had a most excellent mustache). I teared up immediately as the first song began to play, as did the whole wedding party. I'm still kinda weepy now.

Some other highlights from the wedding:

• The obligatory cute, baby, flower girl doing what cute, baby, flower girls do, as in stand completely still in the center of the room, rather than walking with her sister, as everyone gushed.
• A most excellent meal, which I told S. that it was most amazing, and that I would be having a most excellent, gourmet turd the next day.
• An older woman coming over to me and complimenting me on my suit (which was a huge hit.)
• J. and I exchanging phrases like, "I'm picking up what your laying down," "I like the cut of your jib," and "I'm eating what your pooping out." (My personal favorite).
• Some how Leonard has earned me the nickname "Free Candy."

...

Oh, and then there's Stanley. S.'s father, who normally I would protect the identity of, but with him, you simply have to say his name. His father is totally amazing. I love that man. I can't formulate the words to describe him, but he was the a huge hit with all of us. And we drank with him and it was sweet. I want to adopt him, or kidnap him and keep him in my basement in a jar.

...

After the wedding we bar hopped, and while everyone else changed out of their clothes, everyone demanded I stay in my suit, which I gladly did. I'm thinking about wearing it every Sunday and just walking around town in it. It makes me feel like I'm Salvidor Dali, or something.

And then I said my goodbyes to S. and B., tearing up again as I bid farewell to Stanley and M., and told them how much their son's existence truly means to me. Their smiles were thanks enough, the looks in their eyes.

Later we ended up at the The Bar, and I was truly drunk beyond all measure. I mean, we started at one in the afternoon, and didn't stop until 2 ish in the Am. J. and I again got into a deep conversation concerning our friendship, and practically made vows of our own to each other. And I cried again. Then I walked him to the house where he is staying, and parted ways.

And walking home, I was hit with this incredible desire. I was overwhelmed with joy, and had this feeling that I needed to have someone hold me all through the night. Not even sexual, I just needed a body to hold on to. I contemplated sending out some drunk texts, which roommate and I now have dubbed "Thumbing," but figured it might be misconstrued.

For example, "Oh man, some crazy girl thumbed me at like four in the morning!"

Hmm, that does sound kinda sexual doesn't it?
...

Ugh. So I guess a certain talk show will be airing the segment on my restaurant on this Friday at four o'clock. I won't mention the name, but it starts with O, and its going to be huge. My boss already asked me to make a mega-shit load of the featured product, which as fate would have it, is something me and one other person are responsible for.

Lucky us. Thanks O for the help. You've made my entire week.

But, as one friend put it, "Hey, you made something that became her turd."

I guess I'm honored.

...

I'm proud to say that I haven't played a video game in three weeks. But that will change tonight, because its the work party that I actually like to attend, because its free arcade games and free beer. Bring it on.

...

And an apology to the Lass: I know I pointed out that video in a mocking fashion, but for reals, I've never heard that song before, and now its totally in my head, and I actually do love it too.