They Ordered Me to Make Mistakes

August 22, 2008

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Odd. If things had gone according to plan, upon this date, here and now, this year, I would have officially gotten married.

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I suppose.

I mean, we changed the date a couple times, but this is the date that stuck in my mind.

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I realized it tonight. How I meant to plan some kind of torturous reminder for myself. But really, it escaped my mind. Until I met up with some old friends at the bar tonight, despite my attempts to stay home tonight. A random phone call, again, friends in town, going to the bar. Blast. Damn me, Cause I'm going out, again.

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The roommate and I set off fireworks. In honor of my would-be wedding day. Only because originally we were going to break shit, break something. Instead we lit off some cherry bombs at two in the morning. Just cause.

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So hi. Mellow dramatics. I actually feel just fine. Sometimes I just like to wax poetical. Wax my emotions. Let them breathe.

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Chicago was amazing. So eye-opening. A great side-step to the life I lead. To look back and see it all, how its been, all the crazy misadventures. How I want to change things, finally. Really, and fully. I want to change my life.

Quit smoking soon. Workout some. Nothing special, like, sit-ups and push-ups and shit. Simple. And actually attempt writing, stories and such. More. Be more productive.

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Anyway, I'm drunk again, and its late, and I'm getting emotional. I was supposed to be married today. Wow, it makes sense, but it really doesn't.

Hope you are well.

"No one is around... Love will always love you."

(ps. I really want that cd back.)

Chicago, In Brief...

Anyone fancy a game of badminton?

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My journey has ended. And though there are many details of my journey, I just don't have the strength to go into to them just yet. Tomorrow, I shall divulge. But tonight, tonight is the last true night of my vacation, and I shall be getting drunk at the The Bar, for yet another friend is in town, and I do so want to hang out. Plus, a beer sounds really good after all of the trains, buses and cars I rode in, pretty much everyday of my vacation.

What you should know, is that I feel so alive right now. And so very blessed to have reunited with many old friends and places in Chicago that I should have kept in touch with, at least kept in touch with better.

So thanks to all who drove me around, put up with me, gave me a couch to sleep on, took pictures of me, gave me beer, and food. I had a most splendid time, and I look forward to seeing all of you again, sometime soon I hope.

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And in perhaps the most bizarre of news, that which I found out as I returned to the parents house for a brief couple of days, is that I, I am officially going to be a real uncle come March. My sister is having a baby. A baby. A new life form growing in her womb.

I feel like I have a new reason to live, something to live for. Not that I don't have any now, but one more reason to live is always a welcome thing.

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More, tomorrow, I promise.